People Won't Change

I am so happy that I watch the last season of “Sex and the City” and “Friends” tonight.

First, I really feel the same way when I watch SATC’s “The Domino Effect”. Everything just seems happened to me not long ago. Carrie cried for Big instantly when she heard he is going to take a heart surgery in New York. And Big seems open his heart again but soon he close it again after he gets better. It’s just exactly what it happened to me and Steve too. I just can’t help to cry when he told me he needs to take the liver surgery last year. I even have the determination that I would even donate my liver to him in any case he may need. He seemed getting better and changed a lot by saying something very touching after the surgery. I thought he really changed but soon after he just close his heart and went back to what he was as always exactly like Big. Chinese said “When the people are facing death, whatever he or she say is all with mercy and good intention from the bottom of the true heart” I guess that’s just the way it is. Everytime I cried for him I just knew there’s a sense of feeling that comes from my accumulating emotions for years. I want to forget it so hard meanwhile you just hope there is a miracle happens that he might open his heart again. But it just proves that, it’s always like a breeze that comes shortly then gone soon again. I would say the same as Carrie does “People won’t change.” Especially the person like he is.

And the plot of “Friends” tonite, Rachel is rather to say goodbye to everyone but to Ross in private. Ross yelled to Rachel, and Rachel later yelled back to Ross, coz he doesn’t know her heart at all. I just can’t help to think of all the plots are just like everything that had happened to us, which is just like yesterday once more.

Oh my god, what I am doing? What I just said to myself last night? Jacyntha just reminded me that “Get him out of your life! All you need to do is never to mention him again!” And I even added “Yeah, the people like them without heart and liver will never feel guilty and care how the others feel, so not worthy at all! Why should I let them stick around my mind always still?”

Well, well, if we all can save the happy memory only and get rid of those sad part automatically, how wonderful the life could be? I think it just takes time…