Sleepless

I was sleepless last night, badly.

I have been OT for days and extremely exhausted, and I am in the intersections of job and love. Maybe because of the pressure makes me sleepless, and maybe the ghost of past is still hunting and chasing me as always...

Everytime I think of the scene, it feels like suddenly the whole world turn into the black and white, and he killed me with the sharpest sword and thrust right into my heart. Then I fell in the black blood of myself and still stared at this man that I was deeply in love for years. What an unbeleivable scene I never thought it could be showed up in the late night of my dreams. Pretty scary...

I know even there are new things ahead to disttract me but you can never deny what that had happened is a truth, a fact, a history. It will be there always. I know it is wasting my time to dwelling on the past but you just can't help. All I can do is pray to god for giving me the strenght to go on and think of it less and less day by day.

I miss the feeling of going home, the real home of my heart. I finally stop OT today and go home earlier because of I got the terrible headache all day long for sleepless last night. Being home is such a sweet thing. So I listen to Noriyuki Makihara's "After Calling Your Name" which is a masterpeiece for healing and get a sense of sweet feeling to be with someone really important home. I know I am missing you now...

Noriyuki Makihara's "After Calling Your Name"