昨天夜裡在誠品看到了保羅柯賀的新書～「愛的十一分鐘」，讀到裡面的幾句話，似乎某個程度與我現在的心情相當接近、、、
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出生到現在，我一直將愛當作是一種自願奴役的行為。那是騙人的話：愛出現的時候，自由才會跟著存在。能完全奉獻出自己的人，感覺最自由的人，才是能夠全心愛到最高點的人。
能夠愛到最高點的人，才有辦法感到自由自在。正因如此，無論我體驗到什麼，做了什麼，或學到什麼，全部都沒有道理。我希望這段時間能快快過去，讓我重新開始尋找自己。找尋一個能瞭解我，不會傷害我的男人。
但是我真正想講的是什麼？心中有愛時，沒有人能傷害到任何人，我們每一個人對自己的七情六慾都要負責，無法因自己的感受而怪罪他人。
我愛過幾個男人，每失去一個男友，都讓我心痛。然而我現在深信，沒有人能失去任何人，因為沒有人能擁有任何人。
真正的自由體驗就是如此：擁有卻不佔有天下最重要的東西。
Tonight I read Paulo Coehlo's latest novel "11 minutes", there are some lines do touched my heart and I feel it reflects what I am thinking partially....
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Since I was born, I always thought that love is a voluntary slaving, which is a lie: When there is love, the freedom will come along with. The person who can devote totally, feel free most, is the one who can love to the top.
The one who loves to the top, can enjoy the freedom most. For that reason, no matter what I experienced, what I’ve done or what I learned, all nonsense. I hope this period of time will pass soon then I will restart to find myself. To find a man who understand me and would not hurt me.
But what I really wanna say? When there is love in heart, no one hurts anyone, we have to be responsible for our own feelings, and can’t blame on the others for our own feelings.
I’ve been in love with a few men, every time I lost my boy friend that breaks my heart. However now I believe, no one can really lose someone for no one never owns anyone.
The truly freedom experience is just like that: you do not own the most important thing of the world.
